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Wedding Update

 

It Was Rather Rustic

Last night was the big day. Not for me. I don’t see marriage on my schedule for a while. For me it is about self exploration and development. It is the only way you can know how you are, and what you want to focus on in your life. If you recall I was invited to an old friend’s wedding. We have been friends since junior high but sort of lost contact during our time in university. One of the main reasons we have stayed in contact is because our mother’s have remained connected. Mainly through Facebook. So even though we were not as close as we had been and only talked on occasion we still knew what the other was up to so it didn’t feel like we were really out of touch. But then she came up with the rustic wedding theme and I was sort of thrown off. This was not the same girl I was friends with during high school. You had the usual, and with usual I mean the Pinterest/Istagram/Facebook photo set:
  • Burlap runners? Check
  • Mason jar vases? Check
  • Wood signs? Check
    • Those sign makers must be really doing a lot of business now
  • Barn esthetic? Check
    • And this was no easy task in the city, which is why it ended up being held in Harvard, IL. You can’t beat having the rolling hills of Wisconsin as a backdrop.
Well, for the last point, this is coming from a point of view that is a couple years out of date. I really haven’t been keeping up with the trends of the Windy City. And so I guess that is why it felt like a little bit of a surprise. We didn’t have a lot of time to talk, the wedding had about 200 guests. Through that you really don’t have a lot of time to talk. But we did “catch up” even if for only a few minutes. From what she told me, it wasn’t that much of a stretch to plan the rustic wedding. She bought most of the supplies locally, but the ones that she couldn’t get, or could get cheaper online she did. For one she didn’t like the offers of invitations that she found. They were either very basic, which apparently isn’t very rustic, or they were outside of her budget. She found options to create her own by combining things that she liked. Apparently it was a lot more satisfying and gave her the opportunity to focus on the aspects that were really important to her and her groom-to-be. I had mentioned before in a previous post that I suspected that the groom might be more of a country boy. I didn’t know him, for all I knew he could have grown up in South Bend (rural, primitive, at least to a Chicagoan). But as it turned out, he was himself a native. They had both just embraced the country trend that has been growing in popularity. As she put it, she had always sold the genre of music short. That is a little bit of an understatement, but the recent change in her opinion has done a lot to make amends. From what I could tell the entire wedding, from venue (Royal Oak Farm in Harvard, which if you don’t know the state is in Northern Illinois) to decor (see above) had been selected against this trait. If anything was out of place, if it would have stood out in an Indiana barn wedding, you could have fooled me.

My Lasting Impression

When I got back I realized something very important about the whole thing. A rustic wedding is something that gives you a sense of satisfaction, I couldn’t have seen this going it, but after the fact it was the impression that will stay in my memory. Weddings are a lot of different aspects combined together to form an event that acts as a whole. An impression of those people saying I do. They are tying the knot, and if the cord was made up of anything less that the fibers of their being the marriage will have a rough start. Like this though? I think that they are off to a very promising start.
Here is wishing you: Baily & Sean, all of the best for the start of your new life together!
That was the toast that I never had a chance to give. Thanks for giving me the chance to share your special day with with. You were an amazing friend in school, and you have worked hard to get to where you are today. I wish the two of you all of the happiness in the world!
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Clack Clack Clack Ting

My creativity seems to be most potent when I have something else to do. To phrase it better, I would say that I am more motivated to write when I am actually not able to write. My brain uses its potential for creative thought, especially when I am not able to sit down any and actually write. I use my phone for shorthand notes. I think we call it procrastination. It’s a productivity technique. One where you get stuff done by procrastinating on something else. I had been holding back on cleaning out the garage it kept going until it was time to do my taxes. What would you know, our garage is now spotless. That sudden cleaning, our spotless garage only really sounded like a good idea when I had more pressing things to take care of. I’ve always felt that it was simply a desire to not be in this situation right now. I think we call it procrastination. I do a lot of writing at work. Writing and my creativity as a whole is more personal for me. I know you may have heard me say it before but it is sort of fantasy, used for escapism. Every book that I write gets my full attention. They could be published today if I were to pursue it. I don’t. Still I enjoy having the idea of publishable work. Something that I could show to people even if I never actually do that. At least not outside of a small group of friends.
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Awareness

Meditation? It’s great! I’m less anxious, more aware of my bad habits and it gives me a chance to get totally out of my head. Anxiety was my default state but as I meditated more and more anxious thoughts became much less prevalent and even when I do get anxious I can mindfully refocus on whatever I want to. Something common among people with depression/anxiety is repression of emotions via excessive intellectualization. I lived alone and far away from my family and friends and I find I spend way too much time inside my head, ruminating on things. But meditation has helped me to pull away from that and focus on things that are tangible and right in front of me. The biggest thing it has given me is that most of the time I can turn off most thought pretty easily. The peace and quiet is nice, and it helps me think better when I actually need to. The brain is part muscle just like any other body part. It took me a lot of regular meditation to really hone it down. I started mediating two years ago and have been meditating off and on since then. When I first started I couldn’t close my eyes in a dark room for more than a few minutes, I thought something was going to come for me, I was a frightened and very paranoid person. For me this was the manifestation of my anxiety. The distance from my family and friends and the fact that I was alone came out when the lights were off. It’s the first time I’ve ever observed my brain in action. Since that time meditation has helped grow tremendously and made me realize where a lot of my misguided emotions were coming from. It has brought me into a better place in my life. Meditation provides a much needed time for self-reflection. Whether it was always pursuing a romantic relationship in an effort to replace a perceived void left by the absence of a parent’s affection or letting others take advantage of me emotionally. In today’s world where we’re being pulled a hundred different ways, it’s nice to have some time to sit down and listen what’s going on within ourselves. It’s not all peaches and roses though. I have bad days. Even then, the skills you gain through meditation should help you there. Be aware of your emotions and thoughts, but try not to attach to them nor reject them.
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The Big Rustic City

I lived in Chicago, it is not the biggest city but we are enough removed from the country landscape that you would not notice. When I was last there I realized that you really can tell that it is located in the Midwest. There was so much rustic fashion for lack of a better word. But not just that it was the whole ambiance. One of my best friends from high school will be getting married in a couple of months and I am expected to attend. Actually I said “you want me to come?” to which she responded “I expect you to come.” SO I don’t really have any way out I guess. Which is fine, it will be a blast if I know her. Which I thought I did. But in high school she was totally into techno. It wasn’t out of place in our school, but it wasn’t main stream either. Now she has gone total country. She rattled off a list of possible songs and you can find them on the Billboard Top 50 for country music. I asked her since when she like country music. She responded since she realized it didn’t suck. That was a change, the girl only listened to trance and techno anything else didn’t make her playlist. Now she is even going back to Johnny Cash. I have never met the fiancee, that will come soon enough, maybe he is a total country stud. Though that sounds a little bit wrong now that I type it out. Forget you ever read that! 🙂 I am curious to see what else she has on the plan. Stay tuned for an update.